You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
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yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
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