I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize