So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
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