these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
