My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
