We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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