No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
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