So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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