why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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