She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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