i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
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