So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
