I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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