i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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