Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
