Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize