Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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