This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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