If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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