A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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