yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
