someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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