First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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