i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
