I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
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I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
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I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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