thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
