In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
