I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
