perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
