okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
