Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
