So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
