We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
