You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
