His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We need to rekindle our bromance
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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