Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize