Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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