I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
