Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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