yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
