"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
