...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
