Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my being single is dangerous.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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