Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
