I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
