Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
