but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
