i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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