Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
