I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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