yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Fuck me I smell like cheese
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
