even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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