I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
