dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I forget how to act sober
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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