quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
