well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
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I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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