nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
