i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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