It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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